FAT!!!!

So I looked at my reflection in glass at the gym yesterday after cardio and decided that I have let myself go once again. It's really hard to gain back weight you lost. Not really hard to do just hard to go through. I hate it. I hate not fitting in clothes. I hate man boobs and I hate feeling out of shape when I worked so hard to get in shape. I wanna be back at 195 but don't know if I have the discipline to do it again. It's a huge commitment and I love food a little too much. So once again I will commit myself to try and hopefully I don't get derailed next week by a cold or some other stupid thing.